project unbreakable

Again with the intermittent internet so I apologize that I haven’t been making a lot of posts

Photographed in Delaware, OH on September 25th.

Project Unbreakable: projectunbreakable

As you know [or as you should know, if you keep yourself in a shroud of ignorance & sunshine where nothing bad ever happens & we’re all in a post-everything society where everyone is equal & everything is perfect], we live in a rape culture – a culture that not only normalizes rape, but sometimes even encourages it.

Anyone who isn’t a cis male lives in fear of walking down the street, but especially cis women catch the eyes of sexual predators [because let’s be real, most cis men are attracted more to women who fill out more binary standards of beauty.]  They don’t even have to be men who force you into a car.  They’re the men who cat call you as you walk down the street.  & follow you.  & beg for you to talk to them.  & don’t leave you alone.  & when you turn around & yell @ them, they call you a slut & spit in your face.  Or they fondle you on the subway.  Or they lean to see down your shirt.  Or they just lean in & whisper something completely inappropriate & it sends shivers down your spine & you gag.  Or they’re that “friend” who feels entitled to sex whenever he does you a favor, or feels entitled just whenever.  Or they’re that other “friend” who laughs @ all those rape jokes @ the bar – but it’s okay since he would never actually rape anyone, right?

None of those things are “rape” technically, but all of these actions uphold a rape culture: a culture where rape is almost a normal male behavior – which is funny when men try to shift blame onto the woman saying that it’s HER fault for dressing like this or drinking too much of that; because when you say that, you’re actually making the assumption that males will ALWAYS rape.  That men will ALWAYS rape & it’s her fault for not protecting herself adequately.  & that shouldn’t be the case, should it?  You’re trying to blame women but you’re actually blaming yourselves. 

But in our society, we don’t hold rapists – even those who commit those micro events – accountable.  Even the police shrug it off.  Especially when they themselves are doing some of the sexual assault, especially against WOC.  & if a WOC tries to report it, she’s arrested herself for attacking an officer or some other bullshit call like that because you can never fucking trust the police when you are a minority of any racial, sexual,  & / or gender difference.  You can never assume that they’re good; you always have to be on the offensive & the defensive @ the same time.  Unless you’re white.  But even Occupy Wall Street shows that even when you have the privilege of race, when you’re going up against The Machine, they still won’t care; they will care more about The Machine that they’re working for over living people that they’re actually more like.  They’ll pepper spray your eyes & throat & trample you the fuck down anyway.  But I went off on a tangent.  We don’t hold rapists accountable.  Not every woman can even report a rape for fear of her life.  & even if she does report it, most rapists are never successfully convicted.  & even when they are, they never stay away from the community for very long.  They always come back.  & they lurk again.  & they rape again.  & they hurt again.

& they’re more common than you think, especially those micro events.  EVERY woman has experienced a micro rape culture event if they haven’t already.  @ least one moment where you’re uncomfortable because of a cis male breathing down your neck trying to get a conversation out of you.  Sometimes it’s very innocent.  They just want to know what book you’re reading.  But they get closer & closer.  & more aggressive.  & more defensive when you call them out on their misbehavior.  & when you react with violence, they’ll hurl the bombs @ you: SLUT; WHORE; SKANK; BITCH.  Because it’s never THEIR fault; it’s always YOURS.  YOU are the sexual deviant, not them.  YOU are infringing on THEIR rights to male sexuality, not them infringing on YOUR RIGHTS TO YOUR OWN BODY & YOUR OWN SAFETY.

On tumblr you hear this all the time, but it bears being repeated: in our society, we teach our women what not to wear instead of our men not to rape.  Oh don’t wear those short shorts, you’ll look like a whore & guys will come after you.  Oh actually most women aren’t raped in flashy outfits.  They’re raped in “normal” clothes.  By those closest to them.  Like family members.  Like significant others.  You’re more likely to be raped by them way more than some black guy on the side of the street.  There’s a lot of racism also tied up in our rape culture, but unfortunately… that would be another novel of a post so I’ll stop now.  & get to the point: Project Unbreakable.

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In our rape culture, we don’t believe the stories where a wife has been “raped” by her husband.  It always has to be in those little “ “ s.   Because that’s her husband; it has to be IMPOSSIBLE.  But NO.  Consent is consent is consent.  No means no.  No does not mean yes.  This isn’t a safe word situation.  Drunk & intoxicated does not mean yes.  A quiet hush does not mean yes.  Screaming does not mean yes.  Anything that isn’t yes does not mean yes.  But men don’t get that.  They don’t understand because in our society they’re raised to be entitled to women & everything else.  In some ways, we are all still property.  We have no rights over ourselves.  A man can just take what he wants.  He can take a woman by force & force her down & force himself inside of her.  & it’s all seemingly fine.

But significant others rape their spouses, girlfriends, friends.  & no one believes the victims when they speak out – IF they speak out.  & even worse, those significant others don’t even think it’s rape that they’re committing.  Again, they think it’s completely alright.  & they think their women should be thanking them for doing so.  Or any other gender [because there are other genders on the site.]  All of these fucked up beliefs that society breeds hurts so many people.  & they need healing.

Photographed in Delaware, OH on September 25th.

& that’s where Project Unbreakable comes in.  It’s a fairly simple concept.  Those who have been raped hold up a sign of what their rapist said to them during or after said rape.  Some are very profound because of how twisted the rapists’ viewpoints are – because they reflect just how fucked up society’s viewpoints are.  & some… are just plain disturbing – because they’re all true.

Photographed in Arlington, VA on August 5th. 

& these people – because they’re all PEOPLE, not statistics, not numbers, not anything less than a person – they all need healing.  & Project Unbreakable hopes to promote healing.  Because our society does not even view them as people who DESERVE healing.  Our society believes that they BROUGHT THEIR RAPES ONTO THEMSELVES.  Or that their rapes weren’t “legitimate” enough to warrant justice or healing.  Our society is fucked up & Project Unbreakable helps people realize that society is the fucked up one, not them.  They do NOT have to blame themselves.  They do NOT have to hate themselves.  What happened to them… it happened to them.  It DID.  It was not a lie, not a misunderstanding, not a blown out of proportion event, not an exaggeration, not an illusion – IT DID FUCKING HAPPEN.  & it will happen to a lot of people.  & it needs to be taken seriously.  & it needs to stop.

Photographed in New York City on September 2nd.  

Photographed in Arlington, VA on August 5th. 

Photographed in Slippery Rock, PA on September 11th.

Rape is not okay.  Rape especially by your loved ones is entirely not okay.  Rape should not be upheld in our society by little rape jokes told by Tosh.0.  Or that Call of Duty culture where it’s okay to throw out gay-shaming words & rape culture words & any other shaming word you can think of.  The term “butthurt” upholds rape culture.  As do all those little quips about “oh that girl’s asking for it” or “oh she shouldn’t have gone there at night wow what a fucking idiot” or “well she got drunk & passed out she fucking deserved it” or “well it wasn’t actually rape because they were both drunk” or “it can’t be rape because I know he wouldn’t do that; you’re just lying, you little cunt” & it goes on & on.

We don’t value safety for our women – for anyone of any gender who is not cis male & hetero.  & you wonder why we’re always so on guard & hesitant.  You wonder why we start to walk quicker when there’s a group of boys or men behind us.  You wonder why we always have to go with friends.  You wonder why we always have to monitor our drinks.  You wonder why we never leave the door unlocked or the car unlocked or anything unlocked or unchecked a thousand times.  It’s not safe for us.  We have nowhere to run when it happens & no one to turn to after it happens.  Because juries will dismiss our stories all the time.  Because society will always push blame onto her. 

 

Photographed in Indiana, PA on September 13th.

Rihanna deserved to be beaten; she warranted that herself.  No one remembers how Madonna was beaten & forced into sexual acts.   Black women are already sexually promiscuous so they’re automatically asking for it.  She was a lesbian & I wanted to fuck it out of her.  Well if you’re gunna dress like a whore I’m gunna treat you like one.  They won’t believe you if you tell anyone.  They won’t believe you & I’ll do it again.  I’ve won.  I’ll always win.  I’ll always win.

Photographed in Delaware, OH on September 25th.

I’m tired of that shit.  I’m tired of having to look out for myself & other girls.  I want men to own up for the shit they cause.  I want society to own up for the shit they normalize & indirectly encourage with all of the sexual imagery out there that have “Nice Guys” in movies entitled to sex & relationships because of bullshit reason a & bullshit reason b.  I don’t want to live in this rape culture.  I want to live in a culture where no one has to live in fear of being raped.  Even cis men.  Because in rape culture it’s impossible for men to be raped because they’re men.  They’re masculine.  They’re not weak like a woman.  Being raped is conquest; being raped is being conquered.  A man can’t be claimed like a woman.  That’s insulting.  The female gender on the gender binary is an insult.  & rape just rubs salt in that wound.  & this erases the struggle of any male’s rape experience.  Because they deserved it for being weak.  They deserved it because they weren’t “man” enough.  They weren’t strong enough.  It was his fault & not the rapist’s.  It’s never the rapist’s.  Yet it should ALWAYS BE THEIR FAULT.  RAPE IS RAPE IS RAPE IS RAPE IS RAPE IS RAPE IS RAPE.  THERE IS NO GREY AREA.  ANYTHING WITHOUT CONSENT, ANYTHING THAT MAKES SOMEONE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH SEXUAL CONTEXT IS RAPE.  THE RAPE DOESN’T HAVE TO BE “LEGITIMATE.”  THE RAPE MEANS THAT SOMEONE IS VIOLATING YOUR BODY AGAINST YOUR CONTROL.  YOU ARE BEING VIOLATED & THAT SHOULD NOT BE ACCEPTED & YET IT IS & I CANNOT STRESS HOW FUCKED UP THAT IS. 

Photographed in Arlington, VA on August 5th. 

I’m done.

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